"rope"

i see ropes.
i see other people's ropes.
i see a rope that probably belongs to me.
maybe.
but every single time i try to reach it
i don't know whether what to do with it
standing on it
hanging on it
too scared that i would break it
throw it away
pulled it back
too confused to choose what to do

 i'm such a hypocrite yes i know so stay away from me if you do not want to see the real me, if you aren't ready to face me dammit.
do not just say oh ok let's see what you got then judge about my weirdness behind my back.

it sucks to feel that way, you know.