Growing up, growing old

Aging.

Everyday.

This body, this mind, and this soul.

Or do they?

Year by year, realizing how fool I was being.

Year by year, it felt just like that

"Hey, look! Another number! Yeay i'm getting closer to my death!"

Celebrated with a sack of breath filled with CO2, or here with water and eggs and so on.

Yep. Growing old, they said.

Back to the same date from when I was born.

Which will mark the plus one.

And tomorrow will be the nineteenth.

Age is just a number.

The behaviours will be judged based on it.

No matter how bad or how good you're trying to be.

And me privately, I just want it to end soon if it could.

I have a pity on everyone who was, is, will be dealing with me.

Especially the one that's being confused because of moi.

Everytime I think of it, all I say is the f word.

I'm getting upset because myself, but however I cannot repair it.

I keep falling in the same hole.

I learn, but I don't remember.

I hear, but I don't listen sometimes.

I grow old, but i don't grow up just yet.

Well i'm sorry.

I'm sorry that it takes too long.

But i'm just not ready, not now.

I'm not 'there' yet.

I'm still looking for the right path.

Hope God will be guiding always.

And I'm on my way to believe it....

*sorry if i'm being too self-centered,  yeah I quote the last sentence from the last sentence of The Only Exception lyrics by Paramore.